Wallowing in the Season...

Things have been, as I'm sure they are for every family this time of year, hectic for us since I returned from my road trip. 

We had Lena's preschool Thanksgiving party where all the students dressed up like Pilgrims and Indians and ate goldfish and popcorn (you know, authentic Thanksgiving day fare), then we headed up north for Thanksgiving with Rich's parents, which was super fun and special but far too short.  We threw in a movie on the way home from Chardon and, the next day, had Sam's nearly-a-month-early-monster-themed birthday party. 

 

 

All within a week's time. 

Whew. 

Last weekend we had the Wingers (minus Matt) over for dinner, nearly had simultaneous heart attacks with every man, woman and child in the Columbus area while watching the OSU game, and went to Jack's Christmas pageant at their church, which was adorable and all the kids did so well.  And this week Buddy the Elf came to live with us (the kids are equal parts creeped out and amazed, but either way both are on their best behavior = score!).

This weekend is our annual ride on the Polar Express in Newcomerstown, but we have to come home right after because our kids have their Christmas pageant at church Sunday morning and then will be singing some selections from the pageant later Sunday evening at our church family potluck (my band is also performing at both).

Whew. 

Then it's my birthday, Sam's school holiday concert, Lena's preschool holiday party, Sam's birthday, Christmas in Chardon and then the Kraft family Christmas Eve party at our house complete with grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, kids, gross amounts of food and a visit from Santa Claus,  culminating with our church's (and the band's) Christmas Eve service. 

Whew whew. 

It seems like a lot as I write it all down.  And some days it feels like a whole lot more when it's mixed with all the other day-to-day stuff going on at work and the kids' schools and our house.  Fitting in quality time with the kids and Rich, making special Christmas memories, finding time to make good meals, buy presents, address cards, write blogs, and work on the rocking chair I dug out of someone's trash, and, and, and...

Sometimes these dizzying days flash by me too quickly to hold onto any of them as tightly as I'd like, to let the true reason for the season fully sink into me.  And my memory is for shit, so next week I'll forget which kid said what tender sweet thing to the other when no one was watching or that special hug Rich gave me when I really needed it or what Pastor Frank said during the sermon that struck me so true. 

But some moments stick.  Some still quiet moments within each day pull at me, remind me, calm me, center me. 

The simple perfection of reading book after book to the kids in a big overstuffed chair in our living room, all snuggled under a blanket, their little faces illuminated by the lights of the Christmas tree beside us.  Thursday lunches with my sister, catching up and laughing and commiserating and eating and connecting and fostering that relationship because, for me, it's one of the most important relationships in my life.  Sinking into the couch beside Rich every night after we put the kids to bed, feeling his quiet love and strength beside me.  The tingling goose bumps I sometimes get when I'm singing with the band, when we're all feeling the song and the holy spirit fills us and everyone in the room with its palpable presence.  The way the morning sun hits the water of the reservoir, throwing silvery white light in every direction...it's so awesome each time I see it that gratitude to God for such beauty consumes me, as do meandering thoughts that include whether that warmth of glistening watery sunlight in any way compares to the light I will surely see when I finally gaze upon His face. 

So yeah, even with my shit memory and our rushed holiday schedule and the speeding up of time as I age (what's with that, by the way?), all is not lost.  Tis the season to be stressed and jolly and crazy and joyful, right?  That's life.  It's up and down and sideways and slantways and longways and backways.  Is it better to have no messes, no noise, no rushing, no stress, no inconveniences, no worries if it means having no friends, no family, no joy, no relationships, no love, no laughter?  Because one doesn't exist without the other. 

Life is messy.  You can either wish it way or wallow in it. 

I'm ashamed to say that sometimes I wish for a day to be over, for a bad day to hurry up and end. 

But today...today I wallow.

The Road Trip of a Lifetime

Jen and I have been friends since we were in third grade. 

That's 30 years, we figured out last week...wow. 

Over those 30 years we've been roommates, co-conspirators, road trip companions, trusted advisers, drinking buddies, counselors, shoulders to lean on and cry on and laugh on, intellectual equals and challengers, spiritual seekers, truth tellers, comedians, commiseraters in love and everything in between...she's family to me.  Without question, our bond is as strong as blood. 

So when she asked me to drive across the country with her to pick up her father's things (he passed away last year), I didn't hesitate in my response. Of course I would go with her. 

While my family is always my first priority, I married a supportive dependable man who adores our kids and is very skilled at spending time with them and finding fun things to occupy their time.  And I married a man who loves me and respects my relationships and my sense of obligation to have my friends' backs when they need me. 

Oh, how this man blesses me.  Seriously, he sometimes seems too good to be true. 

So it was armed with my complete trust and faith in Rich (after we were sure it would work logistically for him) that I planned my trip to Jen's place in South Carolina for the road trip of a lifetime.

I flew into Charlotte and then Jen and I (and an old photo of her dad) took off from her house in South Carolina and headed toward New Mexico. She had the trip all planned out and organized and she thought of absolutely everything. She had rented a minivan and she figured we'd split up each 25 hour trip into two days of driving with overnights at nice hotels in Arkansas each way, and she even arranged a three day layover in Albuquerque at the home of an old family friend who still lives there. 

Over 50 hours on the road, 3,200 miles driven, 7 states covered (not including my trip from Ohio to South Carolina), 1 train to Santa Fe for the day, 1 policeman who kindly told us our tire was nearly flat in the middle of Nowhere Texas, 1 hero in a tow truck who saved us at least a few hours of daylight, a couple bottles of wine, and many discoveries and adventures along the way...like I said, the road trip of a lifetime.

We saw steep winding lush mountains, wide rivers that are so iconic they have their own songs, miles of spiny fluffy brown and white cotton fields, barren stretches of land scattered with skinny longhorns, one very "Big Texan", city lights sprawling out for miles, deserts and mesas sprouted with thorny bushes and tumbleweed, acres of wind farms with towering wind turbines that were industrial and graceful at the same time, pueblo homesteads dotting the New Mexico landscape, and everything in between. The beauty of all of that wide open space, flat horizons and endless blue skies that seemed to stretch to the farthest reaches of the earth was something to behold. 

 

Truly. I'll never forget the stark magnificence of it. 

 

Throw in all the quality time spent with my soul sister who I only see three times a year tops, and, well, it was a very special trip for me.  I feel blessed by Jen that she asked me to make the trip with her.  Honestly, there are few people in this life who I would want to make a 50-hour road trip with, and my girl Jen is at the top of that list.  I love you to disgusting degrees, sucka!

 

 

 

 

 

And I feel blessed by my Rich for not even blinking when I suggested he take care of the kids by himself for 9 days. He said they were very well behaved, thank goodness, because other than our dear friends the Smocks who helped out with dinners twice, and my mom and sister who called Rich several times to make sure the kids hadn't tied him up in a chair and taken over the household, he was completely on his own.  But you know, he never complained or sounded frustrated or exhausted when we spoke and actually enjoyed the time with the kids, I think.  Which is amazing to me because I so often get frustrated and exhausted just from a couple of tough days with them...sigh...I wish I could be more like him.

So today and everyday I thank God for these amazing, inspiring, important people he's put into my life and for the incredible opportunities he gives me to learn and to grow closer to those people and to him and to see more of this staggeringly beautiful place he's given us to call home.