Valentine's Day and Other February Things

Sam on Valentine's Day morning staring with wonder and delight at the decorations we put up the night before.

"How'd dose (those) hearts get up dare (there)?", he said. When I explained what they were for, he jumped up in my arms, hugged me and whispered in my ear "I wove (love) you, Mommy".


Lena was excited too. She wakes up later than Sam (we all wake up later than Sam), but they opened their special book and stamp set together. I unfortunately didn't get a picture of that because we had to rush out the door to school right after.


One morning last weekend, Rich broke out the kids' giant art set, wrapped the counter in paper and let them have at it.


Sam was using coins to trace circles to use as the heads for the animals and people he was drawing. His artistic ability and ingenuity come from his father.



Lena was pretty much just scribbling, but she asked me to draw hearts for her. Unfortunately, she gets her artistic ability from her mother. (But man, can she sing! I need to post a video of her wailing away. She even shakes her head a little when she hits high notes!)



Yesterday we were home sick from school (Sam had a low fever which, thankfully, hasn't resurfaced). While I was in the kitchen cooking, this is what I saw happening in the living room - Sam pretending to put Lena to bed. What I heard was Lena saying "Night-night Sammie" and Sam singing her one of her most requested bedtime songs, "Jeengle (Jingle) Bewws (Bells)". He even stroked her hair once.

I guess he was making up for the absolute holy terror he was the night before when he was slamming his door and calling me names before his bedtime. Must have been the fever working on him, right? :)


They both must have been in snuggly moods because look at what they did to Miles just a few minutes later.


Then they sat and played quietly together until lunch. I hated to interrupt them - this is a rare scene at our house.

In the Presence of the Lord

One of my lifelong dreams has come to fruition: I'm a backup singer in a band.

Yes, I've always dreamed of being a backup singer. And yes, I'm aware that it's not a normal reach-for-the-stars kind of dream, but it's my dream.

Singing backup is an amalgamation of my talent for finding harmonies and my desire to be part of something cool without completely putting myself out there. It lets me add something to a song without drawing too much attention to my voice (which is a good voice, but not great by any means).

And I completely dig it. (Yeah, I can say "dig it" now. I'm in a band.)

It's a church band, which probably brings the coolness level down a few notches in some people's eyes, but those people have never heard our church band.

The lead singer has a bluesy, perfect pitched, smokey toned voice that blows me away. And she plays piano the same way - she's absolutely amazing. Seriously. And the guys who play guitars and drums (and sometimes sax) are all amazing musicians too. They are no joke. They know and play real music. Not just churchy stuff, which sometimes seems dumbed-down for the masses.

For instance, this Sunday they played Blind Faith's "In the Presence of the Lord" (click the blue words to hear the original). That's Clapton and Winwood. And they did it justice - the singing, the guitar solo...it was incredible. And moving. Just like good music should be.

These people are funny, down to earth, eclectic, intelligent, gifted people who have faith and guts and passion and talent. They play because they love it and are good at it and want to share it. Not for money or fame, although some of them are of that caliber. They have heard God's call to preach his word in the best way they know how - through music. They are inspiring.

I have never in my life so enjoyed serving God.

Ever.

Each time I sing with this group, they truly bring me into the presence of the Lord. Which helps me reach out to the congregation so they can feel it too. I'm so grateful for and blessed by each of them and everything they've taught me musically and spiritually in the couple of months I've been with them.

Yeah, I'm a backup singer in a church band. And it's the coolest thing I've ever done!

Sam-isms

Sam's been saying the funniest things.

Last night when we told him to take another bite of his bratwurst, he responded, "It too picy (spicy), I tell you!".

Or when he was playing this afternoon, he showed Rich how the Lego plane was supposed to go, adding sweetly, "No, no, wike (like) dis, Daddy. Det (get) it?"


He also came over to me the other day and stroked the side of my face and told me that he woved (loved) me.

It hasn't all been sweet or funny things coming out of his mouth (I blame the bad stuff on school, wink wink), but we won't memorialize those here.

That boy of ours is just growing up too darn fast.

Biscotti

I found a great recipe for chocolate pistachio biscotti from one of my favorite recipe websites. I've always had very good luck making her dishes, which are all Weight Watcher friendly while still being whole, healthy and yummy! She uses good ingredients and rarely includes anything completely fat free or fake. It's my go-to recipe site.

It's the same place I found my absolute favorite lemon cranberry scones, which are the bomb. Yes, that's right. The bomb.

Mine, as usual, didn't turn out as pretty as hers, but they're not too far from the original. I used fewer pistachios, only because the kids kept eating them before I could throw them into the dough. And I didn't bake mine a second time after cutting them. I thought they might be too hard for the kids to eat that way, but my softer version turned out perfectly.

The kids loved the dough as well as the final product. They are a hit.

Thanks, Gina!

Third Time's a Charm?

Lena's foray into potty training was in October last year when she peed on the potty for the first time. But after the glow of her initial accomplishment wore off, she was over it and didn't want anything to do with the toilet.

We jumped back into training for a week or so when we were home for the holidays. We even got her big girl underpants and the whole deal. But that was more us pushing than her wanting to try, which resulted in us steam cleaning the carpet a lot. She was totally disinterested. Strike two.

After we got Henry at the end of December, his potty training took precedent (I can only mentally handle potty training one at a time). So Lena's diapers have continued to fill up our garbage can.

Then the other day I saw that glazed look on her face and said "Let's poop on the potty". We ran in and got her on the toilet just in time. I was so excited and she was so proud! She went once more that night, once the next day and once today - all with her prompting.

She'll only poop though - no pee. Which seems strange since Sam was the other way around. But I'm not complaining that I've only changed one poopy diaper in the past four days, so I'll take it.

Will this third round be her charm? Is she getting as tired of those diapers as I am?

Stay tuned.

Shopping for Jesus

My friend, Nichole, emailed me a video that has been burning up the Internet and social networks that I, somehow, hadn't seen yet. It's by a kid named Jefferson Bethke and the title is "Why I hate religion, but love Jesus".


It's pretty profound.


When he says:

"Because if grace is water, then the church should be an ocean. It’s not a museum for good people, it’s a hospital for the broken. Which means I don’t have to hide my failure, I don’t have to hide my sin. Because it doesn’t depend on me it depends on him."

I nodded in agreement.

When he says:

"Now back to the point, one thing is vital to mention. How Jesus and religion are on opposite spectrum’s. See one’s the work of God, but one’s a man made invention. See one is the cure, but the other’s the infection."

I nodded again, though mostly out of understanding.

The poem is a testament of his journey to find Jesus's grace, an acknowledgement of his sin, a thank offering to Jesus for finding him and loving him despite the fact that he is (as we all are) undeserving.

And I understand the reason he hates religion, the man-made invention. Church is supposed to be a hospital for the broken, a place we all go to learn and thank God and feel and forgive and heal and learn more and do for others and raise our families so they can learn and thank God and feel...etc. And many churches are just that.

But many churches aren't. Many can be petty and judgemental. Sometimes church people hide themselves behind their suits and dresses and put off an air that they are fine, sinless maybe even, that others are in way worse shape than they are...many are blind. Many churches are too tied up in routines and tradition and rules (which aren't all bad) to see that there's a kid sitting in the pew who's pretending to be neat and tidy all the while he's addicted to porn (like Jefferson). How is he supposed to acknowledge his sin in a church like that, where everyone is blind? If he's raised in a blind church, that's what he'll grow up to be...blind.

So I get it.

But instead of admonishing "church" and "religion" as a whole, though both are surely fallible (because they are man made); maybe he just needs to go shopping. Shop for a church that fits, where the people are real and the praise is genuine and the message is challenging and the work they do has value to the community and to the world.

They exist. I go to one. And while it's far from perfect, it's my church home. This place and its people have become my church family.

You're never going to get along with everyone or agree with everything your family does. But they are your family. You love them just like Jesus loves you - faults and all. And that's how you love your church, when you find the right one.

Loving and believing in Jesus and living by his teachings is fundamental. It's the first and most important step of faith. But attending church also has value. It keeps you in touch, keeps you in line, keeps your mind fertile and growing, keeps your spirit filled and your heart and mind open. Just like a good friend, like Nichole, or your family should.

So, I'm with you Jefferson. I get what you're saying. I've been there. I wish you well on your journey, as it will surely be exciting and relevant.

Now it's time to go shopping.

Bad Habits

Sometimes I think I am still in the baby mode of parenting, which just means I'm keeping them alive and happy(ish). I feed them, water them, clothe them, house them, love them, sing to them, give them toys to play with, take them to family functions...the basics.

But they are 4 and 2 now, and I question everything I do and don't do.


Are we stimulating them enough?
Do we watch too much TV?
Am I too hard on them? Am I too soft?
Do they feel loved?
Do I take them to church enough?
Are they learning (even at home)?
Are they social enough?
Am I providing them with enough activities?
Do I play outside with them enough?
Do I sit down and play inside with them often enough?


Pastor Ryan gave a good sermon yesterday about breaking bad habits and how to figure out from where our bad habits stem. Reflecting on this shown a light on a glaringly obvious and embarrassing habit of mine - lazy parenting. And my backtracking to figure out why this is a habit I've developed brought me to this conclusion:

I was older when I had my kids. I had lived 33 years thinking I would never have children. I never prepared myself for motherhood. I was set in my ways when Sam surprised us and, I guess in some ways, I'm still adapting to that change. Basically, I have no idea what I'm doing, and I struggle with giving up more of my own things and time and energy to be a really good mom to these two angels.


And I desperately want to be that for my kids.


So 2012 will usher in the year Sam and Lena's mom gets her shit together. Here's my strategy:

I will pray every morning for heaps and loads of patience.
I will provide at least one stimulating/educational activity every day I'm home with the kiddos.
I will stay away from the computer more.
I will pray every afternoon for heaps and loads of patience.
I will sit down and play with them more often.
I will try to get Lena involved in an activity other than just story time at the library.
I will try to react less and pro-act more.
I will pray every night for the strength and courage and wisdom that my kids need me to have.


It's all about balance. I'm not going to go hog wild and change every parenting technique I've developed. I'm basically a good mother, I know. So if I just step it up a little bit, I think I'll be able to find the balance between being a better mom and not losing myself in my kids.

At least that's the general idea:)